The interesting life of a Hat
by xlunaxselenex
Summary: Just something that popped into my head, What is life really like for the Sorting Hat? and some of our favorite people make an appearance too ...


**The interesting life of a Hat**

The Sorting Hat was created by Godric Gryffindor. Not, as it is now thought, for the sole purpose of looking inside young minds to see which of the founders they would be best apprenticed under, but as the counsellor and confidant in the school. All residents of the castle could find the Sorting Hat and talk about their classes, home life, friendships etc. and the Hat would do its best to alleviate the worries and fears of the students. The Sorting Hat was an essential part of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

However as the years went by and the founders left Hogwarts, the Hat slowly began to be forgotten. Removed from the great hall to the back room, where it sat on a rickety stool for years, it began to fade from the brilliant midnight black it had been to a regular, normal, greying black. No-one came to visit anymore. And there it lay for a hundred years, until a small student stumbled upon the room where it resided.

This little boy poured his heart out to the Hat in the dusty room and vowed to visit again. Needless to say this made the Hat's century, even more so when the very same little boy went on to become the Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. The new headmaster reinstated the Hat as the means to sort the students, however its former role of counsellor was forgotten and history moved on.

A thousand years had passed since the founding of the school and the hat was still sorting the students. It had even started to create songs over the years to include in the ceremony. What else is a Hat supposed to do when stuck in the headmaster's office with no-one to talk to all year? The Hat had none of its former glory, it was a murky shade of grey, was fraying around the edges, and had been patched up more times than it could care to remember, and yet it still did its job.

The year started the same as every year for the Hat. It was carried into the hall by Minerva McGonagall and was put on that damn rickety stool! When the students were all assembled the Hat would start its song.

'Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me,

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwart's Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!'

_(Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone)_

The Hat sighed inwardly at the applause that had erupted in the hall. Honestly, it wasn't even one of its better songs, and it had spent a lot of time at the beginning singing its own praises. However it bowed to the four house tables, as was customary, and waited for the first child to be called up.

"Abbott, Hannah!"

The Hat looked into her mind and saw that she was fiercely loyal to her family and friends, it told her so and then sorted her into "HUFFLEPUFF!" for all to hear. The girl went to sit at her new house table in relief.

It went on this way through a number of students until one "Granger, Hermione!" was called. She all but ran to the stool and was soon hidden under the rim of the hat.

To say the Sorting Hat was shocked would have been an understatement. The girl, sitting on the stool, waiting to be sorted, was . . . Rowena!!! The Hat was stunned into disbelief. Rowena? Here? It couldn't be possible! The Hat looked deeper into her mind just to make sure . . . and yes! It was her! In all her glory, sharp mind, witty humour and yearning for knowledge. Yet she was still Hermione Granger, the scared first year. Perhaps she didn't know yet.

The girl was starting to become extremely nervous and fidgety under the hat. In its shock it had forgotten to speak to her! Poor child! It planned to rectify that straight away.

"Hmmm… the very epitome of a Ravenclaw. The mind, the wit, the knowledge –"

"Please sir," a voice interrupted. "Please, I don't want to go there, I want to be normal! I don't want to be the know-it-all. I want to start a new life! Please!"

The girl sounded so desperate! It must have come from years of sniping and bullying. The Hat felt a slight outrage that such a brilliant mind could be suppressed in such a way.

"Are you sure? Ravenclaw could be good for you … no? … well there is a fair amount of loyalty, bravery too … yes a lot of courage … GRYFFINDOR!"

The girl jumped of the stool relieved and the hat contemplated what had just occurred. What if the other founders were here too? If Rowena was anything to go by, they didn't know who they were just yet, but it would only be a matter of time. There was only one way to find out if the others were here, so the Hat carried on the sorting with a lot more enthusiasm than was normal, delighted to be able to speak to the greatest witches and wizards it had had the fortune to be friends with.

A few more names were called before … "Potter, Harry!"

The boy walked to the stool and put the Hat on.

The Hat was silent for a few seconds before beginning; it could tell that the boy had a particular aversion to being placed in Slytherin. A fact which amused the Hat so much that it decided to have a little fun.

"Hmm … difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh my goodness, yes – and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting … so where shall I put you?"

"Not Slytherin, not Slytherin."

The Hat chuckled to itself … the irony …

"Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin would help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that – no? Well, if you're sure – better be GRYFFINDOR!"

Salazar was not going to be happy later on when he finds out that the Hat had placed him in Gryffindor. The Hat chuckled … he had asked for it after all.

The last few names were called up and the children were sorted. Then the penultimate boy proved to be the one the Hat was most looking forward to seeing. After all Godric had been the one who had made the Hat.

"Weasley, Ronald!"

"Err … hello …" said the boy.

The Hat grinned inwardly; things really were going to get much more interesting from now on.

"Ah! A strong nerve you have, as well as daring … a slight knack for trouble. And yet underlying it all, you have a yearning to prove yourself to those closest to you. However your brave heart overrules everything else … GRYFFINDOR!"

Well at least one of the founders were in their right house. The Hat sighed, what the world was coming to that people were afraid to be themselves … it really was upsetting. The Hat was even more disappointed that Helga had not shown up, as the last child was a boy that it sorted into Slytherin, but there was always next year.

_A year later _

"Weasley, Ginevra!"

The girl scowled at the use of her full name and made her way to the stool. The Hat had almost given up hope on finding Helga this year, but here she was. The Hat dropped over her eyes and was horrified, shocked and appalled by what it saw. There was a great evil lurking in the corner of young Helga's mind. It would have to be careful not to disrupt it.

"Hmm, I fear that you will need the support of your family and friends this year … if it were not for this reason you would be sorted into Hufflepuff as your heart is pure and loyal. However circumstances steer you towards … GRYFFINDOR!"

The girl left the stool relieved as she had always wanted to be in Gryffindor like her brothers and she pushed the Hat's warning from her mind.

The Hat was worried for her. It had been careful not to make the evil suspicious, but it was sure that she would need the support of her family and the help of the other founders. The Hat was sure it had made the right decision.

_A few months later_

The Hat was once again in the Headmaster's office, and it was very bored. That was until Salazar stepped into the office looking very nervous. You can imagine the elation the Hat felt when he put the Hat on.

"Bee in your bonnet, Harry Potter?"

"Err, yes, Err – sorry to bother you – I wanted to ask –"

"You've been wondering whether I put you in the right house. Yes you were particularly hard to place. But I stand by what I said before – You would have done well in Slytherin."

The boy pulled that Hat off and told it that it was wrong. The Hat stayed silently amused. What it wouldn't give to see Salazar's reaction when he found out.

_Almost the end of the year_

The hat was snoozing slightly on its shelf in the Headmaster's office, when it felt claws grab it and pull it from its resting place. Stupid chicken! The Hat thought as it recognised the phoenix above it.

The next thing it knew was that Salazar had put him on and he was in dire need of help. The Hat did not know what to do, so it relinquished the one secret that Godric had given it … the sword.

The Hat saw the fight between the basilisk and Salazar and cursed itself for not telling the founders what one of the young apprentices had done. For, contrary to popular belief, it had not been Salazar who had left the basilisk in Salazar's chambers.

So the Hat watched, wishing it could have helped more. It needn't have worried too much though, as Salazar slew the beast and went to see if Helga was alright. The Hat let out sigh of relief when it found that the evil had left the gentle founder. She would be able to heal now, especially with the help of Salazar.

Much as the hat didn't like to admit it, the chicken did its job. It healed Salazar and took them all out of the chamber. Now all there was to do was to get back to the office where it could get some well earned sleep.

The next few years went by without much incident for the Hat. It could sense the growing discord amongst the houses and from what it had heard in the Headmaster's office things on the outside were not faring so well. The Hat thought long and hard about how it could help, and it decided to put a message in its song. It was, after all, the only time anyone actually listened to a Hat. The message was simple yet clear, and the Hat hoped that the school would take notice.

**The school would need to unite if they were to face the great evil that lurked outside the wards. The Hat hoped that the founders were up for the challenge.**

(AN: this is my first fanfic, just something that popped into my head one day, reviews welcome)


End file.
